From the stars, on a mountain, with the bears, my beads…and paint.
Regarding my Magic-of-Home doll
Women have been making dolls for millennia. Dolls are made of just about anything you can imagine. Fiber, fabric, leaves, sticks, bark, moss, cloth, anything you shape and mold. Dolls open your imagination, open it to possibilities, and open your creativity. Dolls can help you take charge of your own path. You can ask for help, bravery, magic, stories, friendship, the list goes on. Put yourself into a new mindset embodied by your doll to help you stand tall, get thru a conflict, or overcome a fear. Shift into a new way of being in the world by making your doll you as a pianist or dancer, artist or scribe.
When I was a kid I had Raggedy Ann. Oh did I love my Raggedy, gifts (yes, I had several) from my Grandmother. I used her soft flat wisdom-filled head as a literal shield, her face over my face as I slept, sheltering me from the scary childhood things in the night. She was about the size of my cat, which I suppose at that time was perfect because I was so devoted to him, Archie. They became partners in my care, superheroes that slept next to me, protected me, inspired me, comforted me.
Dolls can be all sizes. Sometimes THE LITTLE IS REALLY THE BIG which my teacher Julia Inglis said many times. Now I know exactly what she meant. This small doll fits in my hand but whoa is she mighty. This itty bitty sculpture of fiber got me onto an airplane when my mind, body, and every bit of me was saying hell no, we won’t go! She didn’t bully me nor was she rude. She patiently took my hand and guided me every step of the way.
Does it seem weird that a grown person carries a doll in her pocket? After all, Vasilisa of Baba Yaga fame is a child. I don’t think it’s weird, now I know it’s natural. Much of the time our adult fears are based on ideas we embodied as kids. We end up carrying that reluctance our entire lives unless we as adults gently take our fears by the hand and deal. Sometimes just owning or naming the fear is all it takes and poof, that fear is out the door.
This doll is really just a symbol, a hand-held talisman of what it is I want to embody now. I wanted to bring the feeling of safety I have in my home, on our land, and in my body while I’m at home, with me on a big trip. I spent time with this little one and the idea of safety at home as I was making her. She was on my desk as I packed and we planned. All that time I was infusing her with my grounded way while at home. It worked. My experience on that trip was revelatory. Not only did I enjoy myself but because I overcame my fears, I added a super power to my tool box.
Look at her. She’s been thru it. Her head is wonky and her arms are getting really long. She lived in my pocket, in my backpack, walked on the beach, sat on my windowsill with one of the most beautiful views on this planet, slept under my pillow, took rides in my purse, the whole trip spent in my company. Some days I pulled leaves or sand or sticks or dried seaweed out of her fibers. She has never been lost by some miracle and is VERY dear to me. I don’t think I’ll redo her, straighten her, make her more perfect. She’s not concerned with such things as outer appearance. All she really cares about is that her mighty heart helps me to feel mighty.