From the stars, on a mountain, with the bears, my beads…and paint.

Good-Bad. Hot-Cold. Male-Female.
What would our world be like if we stopped judging?

At 40, we embarked on parenthood. The gravity of raising a man in this world felt enormous. I was brought up in a catholic family. There were plenty of things I didn’t like about the church / patriarchy / empire, BUT, there was the incense I adored, the sounds, the rituals. My grandmother and family were PART of the church. In my 20s I started my  life-long search of world religions. I needed to find a new way of devotion. I wanted to know how to SERVE THE DIVINE.

In my 50s I found a group THE WAY OF THE ROSE. With these people who understand me I am relieved to honor our Mother and pray the rosary in an animist feral way.

One of the prayers in the rosary is the Our Father. I couldn’t bring myself to say these words so I found an alternate prayer, Our Great Grandfather Who Art the Sun felt ok to me. From here I began thinking about the Divine Masculine so I created a fibre Great Grandfather doll. Fascinated with gender talks and looking around myself I realize that the Divine Masculine is REAL. My deep soul writing teacher Janet Conner asked me to paint a portrait of Archangel Luci and I did. Next came Archangel Michael, he showed himself to me, then spoke thru my writing of collaboration, honoring each other, creativity, working WITH instead of fighting against. I am thrilled to imagine a world in the age of Aquarius. Imagine collaboration, co-creation, creativity, peace.

From the stars, on a mountain, with the bears, my beads…and paint.

It’s been a long time coming. Being a seeker my entire life, I am gathering my courage to step out, report what I hear and stay connected. All the terminology to describe this is lacking in my opinion. I’m doing my best but it still has me feeling uncertain. I learned something called Deep Soul Writing from my teacher, Janet Conner. This is a method to tap into the mystical realm by letting my brain go into a theta brainwave state so I can LISTEN. I learned to journey from my shamanic sound healer teacher Melinda Kinsey. These two modes create the perfect environment for me to settle after my day, listen to guidance, messages and wisdom from my dead, the ancestors, celestial beings, plants, animals and rocks. Crazy, right? No, I’m not crazy, in fact I feel more sane now than ever. If you want to learn how, write to me at azro@madriver.com. Anyone can do this. You can do it too!

My entire life I’ve been a collector of talismans. I declare ordinary objects have significance just by saying so. Maybe that’s why my home is full of special rocks branches beads ribbons jewelry art the list goes on. Is everyone like this? Picking up an acorn because it’s the MOST special acorn on all the earth? Let me know because I am curious.

The acorn really is special. First of all, what a cute little seed. It’s wearing a hat to keep it warm in the chipmunk’s den, or lying under the snow, in the wind, in the blaring sunshine. My mom always told me to wear a hat. Clearly the acorn is a good kid.

Acorns can’t move so it proudly sits where placed by happenstance. The little acorn is certain the spot where it lays is the best spot. You’d never find it thinking hey, I wish I was over there.

And patient. What could be more patient than a seed? And a mighty seed at that. When I think about the potential in that one acorn, it’s astounding. Have you ever watched an oak tree grow? I have. We moved onto our land in 2001. I live in a region that doesn’t have many oak trees. There are more just on the other side of the valley in the south facing sun. Our colder darker north facing slope must not be what choosey oaks prefer. But we do have a few and I’ve had my eye on them. I adore their leaves. So whimsical and graceful and swoopy, no hard edges, just curves. Kind of like the warm body of a mother.

If you google it, the mighty oak takes 20 years to mature. Now that’s patient. But, I beg to differ. The ones I’ve been watching since 2001 are no more than the radius of my wrist and about twice my height, which isn’t much. I wouldn’t call these particular oaks full grown. Our land used to have no wind. Zero wind. Now, we get storms that break and bend trees often. The little oaks are just fine.

My artist’s eye enjoys the oaks. The leaves in the fall turn a serene brown and look like they’ve been waxed or varnished. They shine. They’re not show-offs like the red maple leaves or the yellow birch. Did you know the oak is one of the last trees in the spring to put on leaves and one of the last in the fall to lose them? When most of the other trees are bare in autumn the oak still has some curvy decoration and I like that.

When I admire our oaks I think of Joan of Arc. Did you know she gathered in an oak grove to pray? Joan and her friends settled around what I imagine to be an impressive grandmother oak with their beads, to talk to Her. That’s a story for another day. Anything related to dear Joan is mighty in my opinion.

Maybe my son will see our few oaks turn mighty. I’ll keep cheering them on and watching them grow and watching him grow. I’ll think of Joan and admire their moderate size and mighty potential.

This painting (top) reminds me of a river and what the river takes with it, downstream. Did you know there are 39 million miles of rivers on this planet? That’s a lot of moving water, the vascular system of this earth. I feel tiny.

Looking over the cow parsnip toward the giant mountains, a dragon creeps up from the bank. She is iridescent and she’s gently lighting the flowers on fire, wafting the smoke to her nostrils. She says she can tell from this smoke how the flowers are, if they are well. A real raven flies over and calls to me. Dragon and I, we fly into the sky and down into the water. The secrets of this planet are down down in these cold waters. And in the cosmos.

We humans have to open our eyes and stop. Listen to the plants, rocks and creatures for they are wise. Cradle a flower and listen. Pick up a rock, put it under your pillow, dream and listen. See a bird nearby and ask her for her message. Love yourselves. Live a different direction guided by your reverence. Turn your attention toward listening to love.